Grace is Gone
by Lucia Geuse
Summary: One Shot.  Beetlejuice reflects on his relationship with Lydia.


**Disclaimer: I don't own Beetlejuice...wish I did...**

I was listening to the song "Grace is Gone" by the Dave Matthews Band and got inspired to write this one shot...

I hope you enjoy it.

Lace

* * *

Beetlejuice sat in the bar and stared at his untouched drink. She wouldn't come, not now and not ever. The knots in his stomach twisted and writhed around as he thought of her. Never once did he tell her that she was beautiful. Never once did he tell her he loved her. The only person he'd ever loved and now she was gone. They'd been friends for so long that they'd never risked the idea of love, but he fell nevertheless and now he was lost.

"Aren't you gonna drink your shot?" The bartender asked interrupting his thoughts. There was weariness in his eyes as he looked up and a sadness the bartender hadn't seen in a long while.

"I love her you know. I've always loved her and now I'll never get the chance to tell her. It's all over; my afterlife is worth nothing without her." Misery flooded him as he stared at his drink, the amber liquid staring back at him as he gently took his glass up and drained the alcohol inside, wishing his troubles away.

"Why don't you tell her now?"

"Too late. She's getting married today, probably right now." His head bent back down, bowing in a heavy arch. "It's too late." He murmured again and turned his attention back to his empty glass.

"If you love her so much then why is she getting married some other guy?"

"I never thought she'd see me as anything other than a friend. She grew up before my eyes and I let her go. I let her move away from me, afraid that she'd hate me if I didn't. I never told her how much she meant to me and she met the guy she's marrying. I still never said anything. I just wanted her to be happy."

"How do you know that she would be happier with this other guy than with you?" Beetlejuice looked up and stared at the bartender who stood there wiping a glass with a dirty rag, smearing grease and dirt along it.

"He's alive and I'm not. How could I make her happy she can't even hear my heart beat?" His question received a shrug as the bartender returned to his glasses. "Another shot." He called and waited as his shot glass was filled with whisky. He raised his glass wanting so much to forget her. Anything was better than the pain that burned in him. It had started when she'd met this guy and never stopped. There were so many times that he'd wanted to tell her how much she meant to him, but the words always stuck in his throat and the moment had passed without him uttering a word to her.

The questions burned in him why he'd never said a thing to her? It all seemed so pointless to wait and now he'd be waiting forever. She would never forgive him if he told her now when her new life as a married woman was starting. At least one of them should be happy and he'd always wanted her to be happy. He'd done everything in his power to make sure that she was when she was growing up. The pain burned in his gut and mixed with the whisky causing misery to overflow as he set the glass down.

"Do you think it matters to her if you're dead?"

"Never asked her."

"Seems like it's an important question."

"Just give me another shot. I don't wanna think anymore."

"You just gonna sit there and get drunk?"

"You gotta problem with that?"

"No, but you'll still feel miserable in the morning." Even as he was talking the bartender poured another shot and Beetlejuice drank it down. A memory sprung up from the dusty confines of his mind and he gave a smile. She was running down to see him, throwing her arms around him and telling him that he was her best friend. He'd held her then and inhaled her scent, wanting to shout out that he loved her, but he'd held back. She was innocent and pure back then and still was. She'd never change and he'd never wanted her to. The memory held him and warmed him as he thought of her.

The day she'd told him she was getting married shattered his dead heart. She was so happy then, showing him her ring and wanting his blessings. How had he managed to let her go? How was it that he hadn't seen that she was serious about this guy and let her slip through his fingers? It was his own fault for not seeing that he was losing her. She'd always been there and he'd made the mistake of assuming that she would always be there.

"I could be okay with it if it didn't hurt so much." He murmured down at his empty glass.

"Buddy if I knew why it hurt so bad I wouldn't be listening to chumps like you pour your dead heart out to me and pouring you shots to make you forget."

"One more drink and I'll be gone."

"What's so special about this girl that you'd get plastered over?"

"She's perfect." It was simple and true. She was kind and gentle and never once asked him to change.

"Perfect is hard to achieve."

"She did it; she's perfect."

"Too bad you let her go. Sounds like something worth hanging on to."

"Don't remind me. I lost her and I'll never have her now." His legs were unsteady as he stood up, throwing a few bills on the counter, the lightness in his head making him sway.

"Beej?" A voice called from behind him making him turn and stumble. It was too much and he closed his eyes. When he opened them back up and when she was still standing there in her wedding gown, no jewel on her hand, he smiled.


End file.
